Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Before you get all excited. I'm not thankful for biscuits today (although I do like biscuits--with or without gravy, with butter, and with jelly, or just plain right out of the oven). Today, I am thankful for parents of parents--or grandparents!

I have the memory of two sets of my own. When we went to Grandmother's house (my mom's mother) we slept on the floor, woke up early to hear Grandmother making breakfast (including biscuits!), we explored the barns and sheds, played in the pasture, and had general fun. Somewhere there's a picture of several of us posing around the little tin wagon that we built and then painted with red tempera paint (every time we played with it afterward the paint came off on our hands and clothes).

I recall the story of my farmer Granddaddy as he was getting older. My cousin who was helping on the farm at the time heard something out on the porch in the middle of the night. He looked out on the porch to find Granddaddy in his sleep attire and a rifle in his hands. "What is it, Granddad?" he asked.

"There's a blame deer in the corn," came the reply. At this point Granddad raised the .22 and shot out into the dark. Next morning my cousin and our uncle went out in the field in the direction of the shot and found blood drops! Apparently, there was a "blame deer" in the corn.

MawMaw and PawPaw loved having the family to their place for holidays. When we went to San Antonio for a visit we had holly berry wars, and played with my Dad's cousin's boys (especially "Andy across the street" who was our age and bore the same name as my youngest brother). PawPaw told really bad jokes--always the same jokes and always just as corny. Q: Why did they bury the old Indian in the side of the hill? Reply: I don't know, why did they bury the old Indian in the side of the hill? A: Because he was dead!

I'm also thankful for my children's grands. We live so far away from both sets of parents' parents that we only get to see them once a year (if that). We relish phone calls, letters and packages. And we are thankful that our children love our parents as much as they love us.

And finally, since we do live so far from our own parents, I am extremely thankful for the friends who have generously stepped in to fill that grandparent gap for our children. Thanks to all of you who love on our children as if they are your own grandchildren.

"If you're ever in a jam, here I am . . ." the line from the song "Friendship" is the sentiment that most people are looking for in a friend. Sadly, too often we want someone else to be that friend for us but we don't fully grasp the need to be that same kind of friend for them. And with the runaway popularity of social media like Facebook, the idea of friendship has reached an all-time high in terms of glossy surface.

I am not advocating changing the language used in social media. After all, it's nice to have a growing number of friends. And of course friends come in all shapes and sizes. There are those friends who are your friends because you have experience in common--grade school, high school, college or military; there are friends who come from a work setting; there are friends who are friends because of proximity--your next-door-neighbor; there are friends who are friends because of Providence.

Friends are people with whom we are polite, and more than polite. Friends are those with whom we share pieces of our life. The closeness of the friendship determines the size of the pieces of our lives.

The best thing about a good friend is that they will remain our friend when we are not so friendly, they stick by us through thick and thin, and over time zones of distance. The old saying is, "to have a friend, be a friend."

For you, my friend (since you read the whole post), I am thankful.

Learned the news that another of one who I consider to be a mentor has reached his final reward. You can read the announcement at his website.

As for me, I'll keep reading, and keep the memories of the couple of times I met Calvin Miller in person--He never ceased to exude the aroma of Jesus to all who met him.

I think the word we were looking for was "melancholy" but we settled on "mellow". We were young, and young people have emotional bouts with their feelings and the biology of growing up coursing through them. Inspired by the words of Olivia Newton-John, we would go around our melancholic funk, whining and looking for sympathy.



Well, fellows - I'm mellow.

A couple of weeks ago I discovered that my good friend from college days succumbed to some major medical issues on Christmas Eve. Don had a genuine spirit of humility about him. In his demeanor you could tell that he was one of those friends. You know the kind, they know nothing but love and kindness. It's really interesting that when he graduated the year before me from OBU, I knew we wouldn't see that much of each other. He was scheduled to wed his college fiancee, and move on to seminary in Kansas City. I had another semester to drudge through in undergrad work and was off to Southwestern in Ft. Worth.

When I talked to Don's wife via e-exchange after learning of his death, she reminded me of something--"Do you remember that song you wrote for us when we got married?" As a matter of fact I didn't and then she mentioned it, and I did.Interestingly, I was going through some old writing, thinking about Don, and found the rough draft of the lyric and a copy of the rough melody still in my possession. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to honor my buddy, Don, and his wife (and son) one more time by sharing this poem (no critics please, but if you'd like to comment an encouraging word to the family, I'll be sure they get it). Below you'll find a scan of the rough copy of the original music (and it's really rough).

It's not very long until your graduation day
You'll soon be getting married and moving far away.
Please just remember to keep God in your plans
And then go together walking hand in hand.
Go together in life's tortures
Go together in life's joys
Go together, go together just like good ol' girls and boys.
Go together in the sunshine tho' life sometimes brings you rain
Go together in your happiness and even in your pain.

Then you'll know you're succeeding when your children praise the Lord.
You'll know God has blest you and your smiles they'll afford.
Just remember what I told you when things seem to get rough,
"Go together with each other and your Father up above."
Go together over mountains
Go together 'cross the sea
Go together, go together 'cause that's how it's meant to be.
Go together when you're crying and also when you smile
Go together, go together, go together all the while.

Go Together

We're almost at the end of the month and I have two important posts (today's and tomorrow's), so you'll want to read these for sure.

#29: I am thankful for friends.

We've done the "family" thing, and the "church" thing, and all the different "things" things--now I want to get down to business. Today we're talking about friendship--not the Facebook kind (my page says I have over 850 friends, and I love you all, I really do), nor are we talking about those acquaintances who you're nice to or polite with when you pass them on the street (although I'll be meeting with a group of these in just a few minutes). No, today we're talking about those friends who are really friends. The brothers/sisters that you get to choose (because your parents didn't let you choose the ones you like when they came home with that one from the pound hospital). These are the people who meet your soul and know you. The ones who pick up where you left off a dozen years ago. The ones you know you can count on when you really need a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, or a sage voice to advise you. You can probably count them on less than a handful of fingers--these people who are that kind of friend. One of mine has gone on to his reward. He was not only a friend but a mentor, a hero, and an inspiration to me. We called him Brother Bill.

Another is Jeff. He lives on the other side of the world. We really get in contact about once every five to seven years--besides Christmas cards and email. Even so, when we do see one another it is like I've found a missing coin--Knowing him enriches my life. Do you have a friend like this? Be thankful, let them know, and give them a "kudos" for being a friend right here in the comments section. Details aren't required, just a "shout out." Because I'd like to know who you're thinking about and being thankful for as your real friend. And together we can be . . .

Thankful.

(and now for the obligatory sappy song that you knew was coming today:)

#27: I am thankful for grandparents.

I am fortunate to have known all of my grandparents. Although they have all moved on and out of this mortal life now, each of them was special. But today, I am thankful for my children's grandparents. It is special to me that not only do my kids have two sets of wonderful grandparents who love and teach love to my children, but that my children have had opportunity to get to know all four of their grandparents more than just through pictures.

But today, I am even more thankful for those grandparents who aren't really my children's grandparents, but are grandparents to my children anyway. Where I serve as pastor, there are several couples who fill the void of grandparenthood that is left by geographical distance from their "biological" grands.When it is only possible for our kids to be with their grands only once or twice (maybe) a year because of the physical distance and cost of travel, and when they are surrounded by friends whose grands live around the corner, down the street, or at most a two-hour drive away, it is a blessing to have these "surrogate" grands living near enough to provide that loving touch. Just yesterday, we were in need of grandparents to watch the children for an extended time while the Blushing Bride and I participated in an all day event (that would have seemed three to four times longer for both us and the kids had they been forced to come with us), and one of the couples from our church stepped in. (Specific thanks to D & J.)

There are enough of these couples in our church family that it is sometimes difficult to decide which grands to ask to watch the kids in an emergency or for a date night. We try to spread it around enough so that no one gets overworked and no one misses a turn. What makes this service so great for our family is that most of these couples are actual grands whose time is monopolized by their personal bundles of joy--and they take time to love our kids, too! Of course, often they try to find times when they will be entertaining their own grandchildren to have ours brood over so all the little children will entertain each other. What a service.

For this I am thankful.

As a seminary student, I had the privilege of serving on staff at Edgemont Park Baptist Church in Mesquite, Texas. One of the deacons was my good friend--he didn't necessarily mean to be, but he was. Periodically, I would reach into my suit jacket pocket (the decorative ones on the side of the jacket), and discover a twenty dollar bill there. The first time or two I was oblivious, and then one Sunday, I caught him. I felt the tug on my coat, and looked over my shoulder in time to see him with a sheepish, guilty grin.

He was also ready with sage advice--whether he agreed with you or not (and he had no qualms in letting you know he disagreed--but he did this agreeably), he loved you and you knew it. His love for the pastors and staff of his local church was simply an extension of his love for Jesus.

I learned today that he's gone to his reward. He will be missed. My heart aches with the memory and with the knowledge that some new Youth Guy won't have that touch and wisdom to bless him. Good-bye Doug Hendrix, you will be missed. Welcome to an eternity with your Savior.

#16: I am thankful for encouragement.

Preachers are a selfish, egocentric, and thin-skinned lot. We take things rather personally--even if we shouldn't. We think we are right--even when we aren't. And we think everyone should always agree with us--even when they don't, won't or can't.

Anyway, in the midst of feeling sorry for myself recently a friend and church member gave that bit of encouragement that I needed to start seeing things on a bit more of an even keel. Thanks to you, friend and church member.

So, to you church members, try to remember that your pastor is human, too, and that he needs your encouragement from time to time (just like you need his). And Preacher, don't take yourself so seriously--nobody else does.

Recently, I heard one of those radio talk shows where they talk about just about anything. The host was discussing how his second grade teacher encouraged him to the point of "setting him free to soar". So, I decided I'd introduce you to a couple of inspirational people in my life.

Tripping through the nostalgia that is former friends and relationships can bring fond memories, and often does. Then you have a week that is bittersweet. Through the miracle of on-line networking I've made contact with several of my buddies and buddettes from yesteryear. Recently I found a couple of old debate friends and they mentioned another of our cohorts to know if I had heard from him over the years.

I had to admit that, while his name crossed my mind from time to time, I had no contact whatever with this one-time better of my friends since our high school days. The reason for their question was that they had indeed had contact with our friend and wanted to let me know that he had succumbed to a battle with a rare form of cancer. He'd been apparently a successful journalist in his own right, and left behind a wife and two children. I regret that I found out too late to read any of the entertaining movie reviews that had been his bread and butter for his last seven years. So here are some belated thoughts. You can read if you like, this is for me.

I remember Bill. He was funny. He was fun. He was my friend. I'm sorry that I did not keep in touch once I traipsed off to college and parts beyond. From everything that I've found to read about him (written in eulogy) his success as a journalist and film critic were an extension of the Bill that I knew. I'd love to read some of those well-worded reviews. I know that they would bring back the humor that brought a quick smile to everyone who knew him. For his wife and children I pray for comfort even at this late date. May their memory of him be as fond as mine--if not reached from as many years' passing.

Bill Muller

Trot on over and give Bill a hard time. It's his birthday and he needs to know he's loved. BTW, Bill happens to be one of my favorite writers (he specializes in mystery and is always engaging to read), and one of my fondest memories of Howard Payne University--I took two classes under his watchful eye. He is also blogerific just read EQMM.